Yesterday night, we went to sg hancing to visit my nini sebalah my dad... he's sick and wishes to be surrounded by family... kinda sad and kinda touch my heart meliat my nini chatu.. he used to be strong and yes, gagah and yet now he's just chatu.. weak, sad and believe me, he looked lonely.. kan belaying mata meliat.. if i was not surrounded by my siblings, pacah dah kali ampangan air mataku...
if i were to believe my dad's story dulu.. my nini was not really a great dad to my dad.. i remembered when i was still a kid, when we were still in tutong camp, when my dad was still NOT talking to my nini.. my dad told me all the bad stories in details on how my nini treated my dad.. now that i'm older and a little bit wiser, i can understand where my nini came from.. and where my dad came from.. sigh.. i never learnt psycology or anything.. but if anything, i would perceived my dad to be emotionally abused by my nini.. but anak mana yg inda.. i think in our lives, we felt that we were abused by our parents at times because we couldn't see their points.. to family & friends who know my dad.. would agreed with me if i said.. my dad atu waris my nini jua.. sikap nya, ego nya, pemarah nya.. dulu masa damit, i knew my dad was a troubled man.. but now he's older.. ada cucu dah.. he's mellower.. he is trying to be with his grandkids.. he is trying to be with us again.. re-bonding the relationship.. (ukan rebonding rambut eh).. was it last year that my dad ajak kami memancing on 1st day of ramadhan.. heheheh kinda sweet ya ajak kami... i'm grateful for that moment.. i do hope more to come.. wink wink.. don't get me wrong.. my dad is not that bad..he just sometimes has difficulty to reconnect with human being called FAMILY.. hehehehhe...
Anyway, i hope all the best for everyone.. and i hope my dad and my nini are both in forgiving state.. forgiving each other.. my dad lawat2 plg jua my nini sudah.. that shows wlupun injuries dlm hati durg dua ani dalam, tpi air yg dicincang inda akan putus.. to my readers (wlupun sejamput saja my readers ani).. doa2kan kesihatan my nini.. kalau pun tiba masa nya ya "cuti" (that what he told us he dreamt of my ayimulah nini bini, minta my nini laki utk bercuti tah), biar tah nini "jln cuti" dgn aman nya tanpa ada kesakitan.. amin amin... ajal maut di tangan tuhan, and I do pray this year nini sampat sambut hari raya lagi.. amin amin..
that's that for now..
remembering and loving my nini tonight and hari2 seterusnya...
The beany is signing off!!
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